tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1952541843631386815.post6133414872443536324..comments2023-06-12T05:57:54.932-07:00Comments on Chris Brosnahan: AnonymousAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04491119539410707538noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1952541843631386815.post-14051763448813281602012-06-05T04:45:49.900-07:002012-06-05T04:45:49.900-07:00I like this a lot. You asked for feedback so here ...I like this a lot. You asked for feedback so here it is: It could do with a bit more work, a bit more polish. The opening in particular feels a bit perfunctory; I think if you draw out the lead-up to her arrival at the clinic, build the sense of mystery and nervous anticipation, the payoff will be that much better. And I would love to know a bit more about how other ... professions, shall we say? ... negotiate her particular dilemma (are there any politicians, for example?). I guess I'm suggesting an expansion and further exploration of the story, because the premise is so intriguing that I want to know more, and I don't want it to end so soon. It's very cool.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com