Poem - I preferred it when the world was ending

I preferred it when the world was ending.
When everything mattered.
When it all...

I believed. I believed with all I was.
I hoped.
I wanted.

When the world was ending
It made meaning.
Made my life important.
To be there for the end.
To know it was happening.

Now, the world continues.
It goes on. Every day.
Unfocused and dull.

No apocalypse. No reckoning.
No oblivion.
No end.

Instead, I go back to my job.
I wait.
I go home. And sleep. and start again.
And wait for a death
that nobody will mourn for.

I wanted to be one of the last.
Thousands of years of humanity.
Millions of years of life.
And I would be there for the finish line.
Last orders.
For once in my life, I would see the end of the party.

I preferred it when the world was ending.